Balancing a hearty chuckle with a sincere tear may be the secret behind the successful wedding toast. While each toast may not work out exactly this way, there are ways to ensure that this time is meaningful and well-planned, rather than feeling like a long-winded lecture.

 

Who is responsible for organizing & giving the toasts?

The best person to decide what will go on at your wedding are you and your fiancé. However, there is much to be said for delegation! This will give you the opportunity to enjoy what each person is saving, rather than worrying about who is up next. With your input, allow your master of ceremonies and your best man to collaborate on organizing the when, who and how of the speeches at the reception.

 

Is there a specific order to follow?

There are general guidelines that you can choose to follow for toasting, but each wedding and circumstance may be different. Traditionally, toasts are made at two times, during the rehearsal dinner and at the reception but you may opt to have all of these at the reception.

 

At the rehearsal dinner, consider having the best man toast the bride, the bride toast the groom, the groom toast the bride's family and the bride's father toast the groom's family. If your or your fiancé's family don't fit into these specifications, alter it to fit your situation. Have an uncle or brother fill in for a father - the meaning of the toast will still be the same.

 

At the reception, there are traditionally five more toasts, but most weddings now will have differing and usually more than these. Consider having the best man toast the new couple, the groom toast the bride and her family, the father of the bride toast the new couple, the father of the groom toast the new couple, the bride and groom toast each other.

 

Many couples will have more people that would like to offer a toast at the wedding - your maid of honour, a sibling, children of the bride or groom, etc. Use these guidelines as a starting point to tailor your toast time to include all of the important people in your life.

 

Ways to ensure successful toasting...

A few tips to remember when giving a toast (pass these on to whomever you have appointed to organize your toast time):

 

• When you are giving a toast, go up to the podium, head table, or at the very least, stand. You want everyone to be able to hear you and see you. If you are the one receiving a toast, remain seated and don't drink to yourself at the end of the toast.

 

• Introduce yourself to the guests. While the most people will know who the speaker is, those who don't will lose the meaningfulness of their words if they don't know the context.

 

• Preparation is key. Even if it's a few point form notes, a back-up plan never hurt anyone.

 

• Get to the point! Consider that there are others who would like to speak as well. Two to three minutes is a good reference point to work from.

 

• Be thankful. Toasting is a great time to add in your thank you's to parents, family and friends for helping with the wedding, for support and for traveling to be there.

 

• Be on your best behaviour. Take this point as needed. For some, it will mean not drinking until after your toast is over, unless you need a glass (one, one glass of wine only!) to loosen up the nerves, it's best to stay away from alcohol until the toast has been made. It may also mean not resorting to distasteful, disrespectful or inappropriate humour. A laugh is a great addition to a toast, but never at someone's expense.

 

• Your toast doesn't have to be complicated, but it should be heartfelt. Don't worry about having the perfect words, just say what you feel. If this is too uncomfortable, try using a poem to express yourself.

 

• End on the right note. Everyone is here for the bride and the groom, so make sure that each toast ends with a focus on them as a new couple. Wish them well in their new life together and raise your glass to them.